My Night Sky

"Hide,"

She'd said.

And I did.

The space was dark,

unlike the night sky

it was dark with no stars

and where the night sky was

vast and endless,

my small space was a black box.

There were no stars here

that could paint the sea of black.

Only a slither of light

from beneath the door.

I could hardly count that to be a star.

I could hear their foot steps,

I could hear the mumbled voices

of their dispute yet again.

My hands were my ear muffs

and when this happened

I liked to pretend.

I pretended that I was away in a cave,

deep in the tundra

with my baby snow leopard, Snix.

I could see the shine of gems

that decorated the night sky

through a hole in the top of this cavern.

Or that I was in a hollow log

with my friend Foxface (yes, he was a fox).

Oh,

If I just peaked outside the hollow inning

I could the shimmer of jewels

that scattered the black canvas behind it.

When in reality it was all

a bad game of hide and seek.

No matter how hard I tried to pretend

I could never escape the door that opened and broke through my childish day dreams.

I could never escape

the images of my mother's purple bruises

and black eye and swollen lip.

I could never escape the slap

of his hand across my bum

and the stinger it left in me.

And for what?

What had I--a more child--had done wrong?

What had I done to make him loose his mind?

What had my mother done to deserve her scars?

Rattle. Rattle.

The door handle was jingling,

the shadow of footsteps danced

in the light of the door.

I sank deeper into my cave,

the snow littered rock giving me frostbite.

I could nearly feel Snix huddled close to me

so I cradled her for dear life.

I sank deeper into the hollow branch,

it's bark biting into my side

and I could hear Foxface growl, almost.

I could feel the light pierce my black box

before it even touched my skin.

Making all images and visualizations of my

sacred cave and my precious forrest

melt away.

My night sky was gone too.

Who was opening the door?

Was it my broken mother?

Or my monsterous father?

Who was it?

Snix had curled close to me and Foxface had growled...who could it be?