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My meditation garden

Just a metre wide

By Pauline FountainPublished 12 months ago Updated 2 months ago 2 min read
10
[ Image : Pauline Fountain ]

When I was living with Ross and his Father, they had rescued me from homelessness.

It was late Spring when I was reunited with my son.

He was in Grade 5 at Primary School.

Elated!

Time to rejoice!

Yet when I arrived, I was suffering from a severe and extended period of Bipolar 1 Depression.

I would hold Ross tight and tell him with a raw and mournful heart, “I have loved you forever and always will.”

I apologised for the trauma I had caused him.

At first I was immoveable.

Largely unresponsive; my face a mask.

Now reunited with my mental health team.

My Psychologist and Psychiatrist have both cared for me since 2008.

I began intensive outpatient treatment.

At all times I try to implement the strategies recommended by my Psychologist.

She listens to my story and sets gentle tasks with a report back at our next appointment.

Her treatment is a seamless weave of several types of behaviour therapy.

Mindfulness.

Meditation.

Grief counselling.

Radical acceptance.

My task was to establish a meditation retreat, at a pace I was able to manage.

To breathe in the fresh air and help me remember that there was an outside.

An outside, eager to engage.

We decided on the key features.

Destimulation.

Quietude.

Growth.

A place to read poetry and write in my journal.

Each morning to watch the sunrise.

Later in the day to return to be warmed.

To practice gentle mindfulness and relaxation techniques.

I chose just one metre of a long raised garden bed, shaded by a rambling orange trumpet vine.

Remembering my Psychologist’s words, ‘at a pace I was able to manage.’

I decided on a simple approach.

The rudimentary.

First I chose the seeds and pinch pots.

Nasturtiums are easy to grow and with vibrancy they flower for months.

I could imagine them climbing the fence behind.

A bright orange and green backdrop to complement the rambling orange trumpet vine above.

And now for pinch pots.

No need to ponder.

Alyssum and violets.

They had been my Mother’s favourites. Ross’ beloved Nan.

Hanging pots for spider grass cuttings.

A hanging basked of Tahitian Bridal Veil, perfect for the indirect sunlight.

Some garden embellishments.

A mobile of pot plant watering cans; of varying sizes and colours.

Yellow, pink, green and magenta.

A duck and a rooster.

Other metal art.

Jo, we are the two birds and this photo is always with me.

Time to prepare the soil.

I planted seeds and pinch pots.

I tended to their needs.

I watched them grow.

They nourished my soul!

*

I question myself.

How do I feel about my mediation garden now?

Now in 2023, living in my own Affordable Housing one bedroom unit with my balcony garden.

I reflect on that time?

I feel healing and progress.

My meditation garden.

Just a metre wide.

It had provided me with a gentle place of rest.

I had felt hope that I too would emerge into the World beyond.

I did.

And discovered the outside, eager to engage.

***

You may like to read about my balcony garden:

Or my friend Jo (She died sometime after wrote this. RIP.)

[ Image : Pauline Fountain ]

[ Image : Pauline Fountain ]

[ Image : Pauline Fountain ]

[ Image : Pauline Fountain ]

‘Jo, we are the two birds and this photo is always with me.’

[ Image : Pauline Fountain ]

Pauline Fountain. © 2023. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be used or reproduced without the written permission of the author.

inspirationalnature poetry
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About the Creator

Pauline Fountain

Writing and photography provide a creative outlet to reflect with meaning on my life.

My mental health? Bipolar 1 (Rapid Cycling), Complex PTSD and Functional Neurological Disorder.

My son’s gentle wisdom furnishes me with the gift of hope.

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Comments (8)

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  • Novel Allen11 months ago

    This is wonderful Pauline. Wherever you are. I miss you. This was a great story, Hope you are well and taking care of yourself.

  • Mariann Carroll12 months ago

    I am so glad you have an apartment, now. Mindfulness meditation is very powerful in keeping you in the present. Garden is always a nice to have ❤️

  • Babs Iverson12 months ago

    Lovely and very motivational!!!💕❤️❤️

  • Grz Colm12 months ago

    👏Gardening and a space to chill/think and write is definitely soothing. Glad you found it helpful. I must get back into it ! ☺️

  • All of us could use a meditation garden I think. Really enjoyed this!

  • Cendrine Marrouat12 months ago

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us! I know it isn't easy.

  • Tiffany Gordon 12 months ago

    What a lovely inspirational piece! Thx 4 sharing!

  • Awesome ✨ I always thought of my meditation garden to be on a nice rooftop Garden❤️❗

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