My Love of Live Concerts.
The Thrill Of Being In The Crowd And Battling My PTSD.
Looking around me,
Nervously, nervously,
Anticipating the anxiety,
Of being in the crowd.
The hall is full of screams,
I feel fear;
I resist the urge to
run and disappear.
I'm shaking,
I'm sweating,
I'm crying;
But, still, I stay.
The stage finally lights up,
And the adrenaline fuels me;
Fuels me to stay and support
my favourite band or singer.
Music fills my ears,
And I am dancing through
the nerves and tears.
I cheer, and I sing,
Although a bag of mixed emotions,
I am in.
The end of the show arrives,
Nervously, nervously;
I look all around me,
I am glad I came;
Though I leave in a
state of anxiety.
Authors Note:
I have lived with PTSD since my teens. I was a victim of community and domestic violence from my teens to my young adulthood.
I love music, and I follow my favourite bands and singers on social media
Over the last few years, I have been trying to work through my trauma, which is also related to a fear of crowds, which destroyed my ability to see a concert.
I always go to see these bands with another person because I wouldn't be able to attend and feel safe if I didn't.
I have seen a few favourite bands and singers since I started attending concerts, though it is always difficult, I usually end the night in tears, shaking and sweating. I often feel embarrassed and ashamed because of this at the end of the night, but I am always happy to have been able to see and support my favourite bands and singers.
This poem has been written so that you can get a feel of what it feels like for me to face that crowd. I want to spread awareness of my condition so that if you are in a band or someone attending a concert and you bump into me, you will be able to understand my reaction.
I thank you for reading this poem, and one day, I hope to face my fear and see Liam Gallagher and Noel Gallager on that stage.
About the Creator
Carol Townend
Fiction, Horror, Sex, Love, Mental Health, Children's fiction and more. You'll find many stories in my profile. I don't believe in sticking with one Niche! I write, but I also read a lot too.
Comments (3)
Wow Carol, I’m so sorry you experience that! I do not like crowds and avoid them but I don’t have PTSD. Horrible that were subjected to abuse. I’m so sorry and thank you for writing this and sharing it! 🤗🤗
You are so courageous to attempt to do what you love although it causes you a lot of fear. I hope one day, sooner rather than later, you are able to fight this off completely! Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
Thank you for sharing this, Carol 💗 I can completely resonate with the feeling of being overwhelmed at a concert, even though I love them. I'm sorry you're struggling with this but thank you for writing this, also! I'm glad that you've been able to enjoy some good shows even though they've also been difficult. Please just know that even if you feel ashamed, everyone in that crowd has felt something similar at one concert or another and that you have absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about. 💗 Just talk to any regular concert-goer, and I'm sure they will have at *least* one story. 💞 Thank you again for sharing this, Carol, and for adding your story to the mix of ones to help others lighten their own feelings of shame surrounding their anxiety. This was a wonderful piece. 💓