My Baby's Top Tier Beef

There’s a lot of love story out there and I don’t really care for most of them

Hiding all the imperfections and mistakes, always preaching that love is high stakes

So I’ve got a a love story for you

oh yes I do ya see

It has its ups and downs

But when you walk from the top to the bottom you’ll see that were all just trying to get from point A to point B

you can decide for yourself what the fuck that means

this story aint like no fairy tale that you might read in a book or see on TV

its the type of love that you don’t want to watch

the type of love that you might see walking down the street and try to ignore the fact that those two human beings have sexual inter-cores because the thought of that would probably ruin your so far uneventful morning

they aint 10 out of 10 not even a 3 on a good day

but they love each other with out exceptions and that more then most people can say

You see he was brought up hunky and she was brought up chunky and well a lot of other things in between

Manners weren’t a big concern in the family tree

so excuse them if they show up to your fancy dinner party wearing grease stained T's and their overworn favroutie pair of comfy jeans

If its a potluck she'll probably bring a frozen lasagna from Costco, mess around with your oven till she figures out how to per-heat

he'll propably bring a case of beers cause thats all the fuel he needs

when you ask them

"so how did you two meet?"

he'll smile and say

"I cat called her from the other side of the street and she-"

she'll interrupt cause this is her favrouite part to tell

"I walk right across that road didnt even look both ways and slaped the living hell out of that beautiful boys face."

he'll hold her hand and look lovingly her way

"and her hand print has stayed on my cheek to this very day"

fuck Jack and Rose or Edward and Bella

this love store is better then any telenovela

they dont waste their time dancing in the rain and kissing under streetlights

they dance naked in the kitchen and makeout in line at walmart their idea of a perfect date night

he tells her shes the rarest of meat, couldnt pick her out of line if she was surrounded by A1 beef

she reminds him to brush his teeth, even bought him the kids bubble gum flavor toothpaste cause she knows he likes it sweet

he never forgets their anniversary cause its on the same day as halloween, but ask him how many years and he'll always say somewhere between 1 and 183

she always paints her tonails and wears sandles on special ocassions catoring to his secret feet fetish fascination

life can be disturbing and gross but those moments are not immune to beauty

I have seen flowers bloom in the dampest of arm pits, rainbows shoot out of bulging back zits, seen doves fest on leftover cheese sticks

this love story is more then just having a body to sleep with

this love story is finding some to love you in all you deranged pieces. <3