My admission

They’re strange

Feelings

You don’t quite know they’re there until

Your heart jumps a little when you think of them

You smile a little wider when they creep into your thoughts

So much to say

So many questions to ask

I’ve never been speechless

But the way his eyes glimmer when he smiles

I didn’t realize how beautiful his eyes were until

I found myself lost in them for just a little too long

And before I knew it my train of thought was derailed

They’re sneaky

Feelings

You don’t quite realize you’re screwed until

Your soul feels at peace

Dare I say, warm

With his hand on your skin

The fire of negativity having finally gone quiet

Feelings often coincide with curiosities

What’s his favorite thing?

A gold ring with a story behind it

What's his favorite color?

He doesn’t have one, but he certainly doesn’t like the color red

What’s he afraid of?

No fears, but an uncomfortability with deep

Dark open water

Feelings often coincide with doubts

When will the other shoe drop?

The question I’ve been asking myself since this began

What is ‘this’?

Labeling it would make it real

Do I want a label?

Yes..

But no..

Adding a label in turn adds power

Adding power in turn adds feelings

But aren’t I already there?

I reminded myself for days

Weeks

Don’t get attached

You don’t know where his heads at

Don’t get attached

You don’t know how he feels

But

He’s the first thought in every morning

Which is saying a lot because it used to be coffee

He’s the last thought of every evening

Which is saying a lot because it used to be coffee

Did I intend to write about him?

No

Putting the pen to paper

This was supposed to be about something else entirely

Should I have waited to write about him?

Probably

It hasn’t been that long

Maybe a couple months

Only a couple dates

Dates that I have replayed in my mind

Wishing I had gone about differently

With more

Finesse

They’re an odd thing

A scary thing

But a wondrous thing

A warm thing

Feelings