Mundane
What is this life after all?
I sit with a leg dangled over my Craigslist 15 dollar couch
That reeked of cat piss
From a college student
That probably had more money than I did at 40.
He helped us load it into our truck
A truck that had seen better days
A deer took it down or was it
The other way around?
I left my coffee cup sitting on the 20-year-old stand
That reminds me of that time when my son was young
The time I would shop till I dropped without
Anything to show for it.
We sit around our Goodwill table
And eat from plates
With clutter
And no table settings
Warming up our free sandwiches
On the Panini Grill.
We walk through life
With piss-stained carpet
And post our pictures of
A better life.
We hope no one will knock at our door
To see the way
We really live
And how my pajamas are stuck to my
Body,
How I was made of ash and bone
And how hard I tried to wash
My hair
For you
Today
But today
I just could not.
I reeked from the inside and out
And waited to be seen, truly seen,
I laughed nonchalantly
Out of discomfort
Waiting for the interaction
To end.
The platitudes
And social graces
Leave more to be
Desired
In my mind
I’d rather
Curl up in a ball
And count my
Blessings
Than show up
And pretend I am
Someone I am
Not.
We pound the pavement
Day after day
Wating for acknowledgment,
A sign
That we are doing
Something right,
But it never comes
We are so caught
Up in our own plans
And ideas
Our shopping lists and our
Ad-Infinitum's
We can’t hear
The mumbling of those around us
That need us
We are numbed by
The sound of our own brains
Echoing our should haves
And could haves or
I wish I would haves
We can’t see the forest
Through the trees we say
And that is true.
We are too bombarded by
The thoughts that surround us
And hold us hostage
In the night
We crave a life
Well lived
We believe it will come
When we fake it
Till we make it.
We try to erase
Our lives and make them
Look shiny
Like the squares I see
On my phone
Day in and day out.
They put me back to
A restful slumber
As I seek to find a way
Out of the madness and
To disengage from
The worldy inhabitance
To find meaning that is not digital
To find love
That is not fake
To find joy that is not hindered
By fear
To know that my worth can
Not be found in a store
To know that my inheritance
Is not man-made
To know that those who have left me
Have done it with reason
Maybe soon I will understand
This life
But until then
I cower under the weight of it’s
Hold on me.
About the Creator
Melissa Steussy
Author of Let Your Privates Breathe-Breaking the Cycle of Addiction and Family Dysfunction. Available at The Black Hat Press:
https://www.theblackhatpress.com/bookshop/p/let-your-privates-breathe
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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