Months

I was among the ruins in Florida

Celebrating my wedding day alone

I helped my best friend’s family unpack for college

How dare her mother make

A pregnant woman work

My mother nearly drowned

Slipped into the shallow pond

Among the broken columns of our stepping stones

I could hardly believe

The hilarity of the lilypad on her head

Six weeks pregnant

And due that very moment

The child inside me

A sweet baby boy

Belonged to no man

The baby boy and I

Were God’s miracles

I dressed in white on the outside

But black gothic party girl underneath

Sparkles covered up my inner turmoil

Many months later shouts of anger

Filled my eyes with shock

After I laid on the floor with

My lover whom I had foolishly taken

Back to my childhood home

We sat on the front lawn

On the sewer grate holding hands

Waiting for the future in silence

After my father had gone

Romeo and Juliet planning their escape

Still I envision our wedding

Our house, our life, our future

The babies we will have

The love we will grow together

In a replica of Eden we will make

I only hope the nightmares I face

Stay locked inside my mind

Where they hold no power

Except to scare and deter

Because I love him too much to let go