Midnight vibes

Midnight vibes

I don't want feel too much

Depression, that relentless bitch

She gets you when you least expect it, the worse times.

It starts with not being able to get out of bed, or lack of appetite.

For me, it starts with insomnia and sleep disturbances.

It makes you feel numb.

Like nothing matters, not even whether you live or die.

It feels numb.

I feel numb.

I don't know why I'm stuck in this funk. Well I do but not stuff I want to talk about.

It makes you think of the past, the present and future.

Why?

I’m literally just trying to get sleep first.

Can we deal with this after I sleep, so I don’t go into mania

It drives me mad. Racing thoughts, bad thoughts and scary thoughts.

I don’t always agree with these thoughts.

Sometimes I can catch them before they are too intense.

Not always though.

Someone says let's pretend we’re happy now.

Pretend? Sweetheart, this is depression.

I'll be half way dead before I pretend I’m happy when, I’m not

Depression doesn’t let you pretend. It brings everything negative you're thinking to the surface.

Before you get the chance to notice.

You can be fine one day, and down for the count the next day or even hour.

It sneaks up on you.

Be prepared, not scared.

-ej