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Midnight Train

Of thought

By AphoticPublished 12 months ago 1 min read
7

It usually starts sometime around midnight

Lying awake in my bed

Suffocating thoughts pour in, tearing my peace into shreds

Things that I did

Things that I said

Things I can never take back

Things I didn’t say

Things I didn’t do

Squeeze like a heart attack

Memories surfacing from the deepest wells of my mind

Haunting me

Hurting me

Horrifying

My cerebral closets hold so many skeletons

Demons

Monstrosities

Mortifying

Was I ever good enough

Will I ever be good enough

Why is life so daunting

Can’t escape

The hippocampal prison

My doubt arrests me

Confines me behind bars of trepidation

Bound in the chains of my past

Things I lost eons ago

Wondering if this day is the last

What ifs that will never be known

Reminding myself that I will feel better tomorrow

When the sun rises

When the seemingly impenetrable fog of self-loathing is infiltrated by the dawn’s early light

Willing me to live another day

To rise from the darkness and fight

Go to battle one more time to win the war in my head

Derail the detrimental train of thoughts that screams down the tracks in my skull

Fill the gargantuan canyon that hollows the pit of my soul

No pity

I don’t feel sorry

I feel sick

Of the stranger in my bed

My clothes

My mirror

My skin

My head

The shell that I’m living in

Going through the motions

Drowning in the oceans

Sulking in the shadows

Like a serpent in the shallows

Like a traitor at the gallows

Hanging for treason

Against myself

My body

My mind

I am my own worst enemy

Letting doubt win

Betraying me

Time

After time

After time…

sad poetry
7

About the Creator

Aphotic

Horror|Sci-Fi|Fantasy|Poetry

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Comments (3)

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  • J. Jay9 months ago

    I feel this. I especially enjoyed the line, "My cerebral closets hold so many skeletons." The alliteration and visual of cerebral closets was on point.

  • Heather Hubler9 months ago

    "I am my own worst enemy" is such a sad truth. I could identify with every line. What a powerful piece written with stark honesty. Loved it!!

  • Cathy holmes11 months ago

    This is a powerful, emotional piece. Well done.

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