It usually starts sometime around midnight
Lying awake in my bed
Suffocating thoughts pour in, tearing my peace into shreds
Things that I did
Things that I said
Things I can never take back
Things I didn’t say
Things I didn’t do
Squeeze like a heart attack
Memories surfacing from the deepest wells of my mind
Haunting me
Hurting me
Horrifying
My cerebral closets hold so many skeletons
Demons
Monstrosities
Mortifying
Was I ever good enough
Will I ever be good enough
Why is life so daunting
Can’t escape
The hippocampal prison
My doubt arrests me
Confines me behind bars of trepidation
Bound in the chains of my past
Things I lost eons ago
Wondering if this day is the last
What ifs that will never be known
Reminding myself that I will feel better tomorrow
When the sun rises
When the seemingly impenetrable fog of self-loathing is infiltrated by the dawn’s early light
Willing me to live another day
To rise from the darkness and fight
Go to battle one more time to win the war in my head
Derail the detrimental train of thoughts that screams down the tracks in my skull
Fill the gargantuan canyon that hollows the pit of my soul
No pity
I don’t feel sorry
I feel sick
Of the stranger in my bed
My clothes
My mirror
My skin
My head
The shell that I’m living in
Going through the motions
Drowning in the oceans
Sulking in the shadows
Like a serpent in the shallows
Like a traitor at the gallows
Hanging for treason
Against myself
My body
My mind
I am my own worst enemy
Letting doubt win
Betraying me
Time
After time
After time…
About the Creator
Before Sylvester the Cat, there was Sylvester the Dog
Sylvester was a Merrie Melodies canine Sylvester, the Cat, is a beloved Looney Tunes character who debuted in March 1947 in the animated short Life with Feathers. The iconic Mel Blanc once said that he enjoyed voicing Sylvester, one of his favorite characters. The cartoon short that was near and dear to Blanc's heart was Bird's Anonymous which starred the popular cat.
By Cheryl E Preston3 days ago in Geeks
Comments (3)
I feel this. I especially enjoyed the line, "My cerebral closets hold so many skeletons." The alliteration and visual of cerebral closets was on point.
"I am my own worst enemy" is such a sad truth. I could identify with every line. What a powerful piece written with stark honesty. Loved it!!
This is a powerful, emotional piece. Well done.