When events are too dark and unimaginable to comprehend
our mind's eye has a way of protecting us.
Our hearts and our souls.
Until we are ready to cope and relive the memories.
But there are some circumstances
where things happen in one’s life
and it is inevitable.
It becomes a domino effect
and the past can no longer stay hidden.
The only way to go is out.
There are times when I think to myself
I should have been braver.
I could have been stronger.
To know what was happening
to me was a violation.
But then and even now
I have no words.
It has been twenty-one years
and I still see it all in pieces.
Some images like a fuzzy picture
I’m trying to adjust and make out.
I am recalling more each day.
I remember the night.
The moments leading up to it all.
I kept thinking it’s late,
I should really go back to bed.
But you kept giving me reasons to stay.
I was so young and naïve,
I just wanted to play.
You had many other games on your vile mind.
I wish I could know and understand
what it was exactly that impelled you to choose me.
I was your daughters’ best friend.
Was it just that fate had me waking
because I drank too much water that night?
Could it really be so simple?
Was this always supposed to happen?
Was it written in the stars?
Was I always meant to carry and live with these scars?
They say time heals all wounds.
In some ways that is true.
But everything we endure
we carry along with us
in everything we do.
It makes us who we are.
We can choose the path
we take after every experience.
The question you must ask yourself
is do you let your past consume you
or do you choose to move forward?