Maybe

Maybe I feel depressed because of my own disappointments

Maybe it's because I don't know how to let happy in

Knocking on my door, with a police-like chap

But I am afraid and hiding behind a couch

Out of view of the window

I am afraid in case Happy and I do not see eye to eye

What if we have nothing in common

What if I am supposed to be in this mental battle until I chap at Happy's door and Happy is naive enough to let me in and be welcome.

Maybe I want to travel because I feel like the people round here have memorised my rise and fall like an old rollercoaster

Maybe I want to make new first impressions

Maybe I'll be disappointing with those people too

And maybe I'd have to travel a new city every week to have a continuous moment of not being an utter disappointment to everyone who lays eyes on me

Or

Maybe I need to stay here and make amends

Maybe I need to show and prove that I am capable of change

I am capable of derailing the constant rollercoaster of my emotions to mere teacups spinning round

I am not sure

All I know is maybe I talk to myself too much

Maybe I need to open my mouth and let out all the butterflies built up from meeting new people through the years

As there's a storm raging in my pancreas

And I need calm seas and smooth breezes

Not a storm

I am storm enough

Knock knock

Who's there?

Let's turn the handle and see, shall we?