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Madness, Crazy, Insane?

Are they all the same?

By Denise E LindquistPublished 3 months ago • 2 min read
7
Madness, Crazy, Insane?
Photo by Claudia Wolff on Unsplash

I grew up believing that men are alcoholics

and women are mentally ill, chronics

I wasn't the only one back in the day

because when I cried all-day

my mom said I was having

a nervous breakdown. It was nothing

like that. It was that I had been

working with the sexual assault

program on trauma and had seen

the truth to know it wasn't my fault.

My husband who I divorced a year before

asked to date my friend from grade four

and I was working with men

with the idea of being a woman,

a healthy female role model

for them. My sponsor said don't coddle

them men. Then said, "You aren't having a breakdown

rather you are having a breakthrough!

You probably do need a break though!"

She hooked me up with a treatment program she

was familiar with. I knew better but that is where I met he.

He would be my next husband. There was a reunion

and he was there as entertainment at

the treatment program. I didn't know he would be my next union.

I needed to get my mind off of everything that

had happened in my past.

Or I wouldn't last!

The madness, crazy, and even insane

could still happen. I was kept in the hospital

for 30 days and the only one sure I was sane

was my friends. I would walk across the parking

lot to the program I was in. Participate all day long,

and return at night for sleeping.

I truly wasn't sure all along!

The counselor had me hollering

outside as I confessed to having

screaming in my head.

A few others joined in.

They told the neighbors ahead

of time, they probably thought it was a looney bin.

I had been depressed since age ten.

Maybe even younger back then.

I had dealt with anxiety and panic

disorders that made me very sick.

I tried suicide once and woke up.

Someone said, "Permanent solution

to a temporary problem" and I said yup.

I wasn't that sure at the time, I learned to bargain

with God. I am sure now and I never tried it again.

Crazy? Maybe. Insane? No. Madness. Not yet.

Time to get

done with this

as others will be questioning is

she or not?

~~~~~~~~

This is for the March Write Club Prompt.

Mental HealthFree Verse
7

About the Creator

Denise E Lindquist

I am married with 7 children, 27 grands, and 12 great-grandchildren. I am a culture consultant part-time. I write A Poem a Day in February for 8 years now. I wrote 4 - 50,000 word stories in NaNoWriMo. I write on Vocal/Medium weekly.

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Comments (5)

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  • Novel Allen2 months ago

    Sometimes I wonder if we are all seeing life through rose colored glasses. Do we even know who is who and what is what. I hope that you are doing well and send you hugs and blessings.

  • This is a powerful piece, Denise! Life has a way of dishing out some harsh lessons, and sometimes I wonder how any of us get through life. I love what you say about bargaining with God. That is so true! Thank you for sharing this impactful and inspiring poem. They say that what does not kill us only makes us stronger. (Sometimes I wonder about that, especially in the midst of struggle.)

  • I'm so sorry for all that you went through 🥺 Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️

  • Shirley Belk3 months ago

    Life is unyieldingly cruel sometimes and we all get madness, crazy, and downright insane at times. Mental health, like physical health is on a continuum. (This too shall pass.) I confess that I scream, pound my fist on the table, and fold up in a fetal position at times. But then I pull myself up and carry on. Hugs to you and to the reality in which we live.

  • Babs Iverson3 months ago

    Powerfully written!!! Left some love!!!♥️♥️💕

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