Love

Take me to a place

Where I can be free

Free to embody my soul

The deepest of pains

The hardest of tragedies

A place where it is safe to surrender

Into the bliss

Into eternity

Because I am breaking

Every single day I am breaking

I want to cry

But I don't think there is anything left

I am exhausted and afraid

Afraid of my own mortality

Afraid of never being enough

I wonder what it would be like

To not care so much

To just give up and surrender

Because a part of me does

Maybe that's what I need to do

But it doesn't feel safe

My nervous system doesn't feel safe in the surrender

Because I have had to live on high alert

Hyper awareness my entire life

Always aware of my surroundings

Because if I let down my guard just a little bit

I am open to attack

Open to being used and abused

But damn do I want to let go

I want to surrender into the unknown

Be embraced by a man

So strong and so grounded

That it is safe for me to leave my feet

To leave the ground

A safety that only one man can provide

Because God crafted him perfectly for me

To embody my wholeness

My sweetness

To embody every broken piece of me

And watch me heal and overcome it all

With such loving eyes

A powerful gaze that can only be felt

That can never be put into words

But a gaze that I would spend a lifetime embracing

I want the realness

The rawness

I want to be seen

To be heard

To step into my fullest expression

My boldest expression

I want to be catered to and adored

The way no woman has ever known

To be guided and protected

A man who knows his worth and his values

And will not compromise

A man who wants to give me his all

Because he is so full of life himself

A man that is written in storybooks and fables

A love story that many people dream of

But few ever embrace

I want a love that isn't afraid of the darkness

That is willing to go into the deepest and darkest shadows of my soul

And hold all my pain with loving eyes

With so much strength, so much courage

That I don't fear the darkness as much