Lost

I have been lost and I have found

Only to be lost again not long after

It’s a cycle and it’s endless

Happiness cannot be all the time

But sometimes I confuse delusive contentment with happy and live my days quietly to keep the thoughts in my head and my heart hidden.

I am choosing quiet and parading it as peace.

I see it.

I know it.

I am not healed.

The day I truly choose myself will be enlightening and powerful

But for today and maybe many others

I suffer in my solitude and pretend I am okay for the sake of my strongest feelings being exposed and the pain that aches in my chest as they are released unto the deaf ears of misunderstanding as cries for sympathy.