Lost and Found; Rinse, Repeat

Dear lost girl,

Not every journey is a skip down the yellow brick road. The straight and narrow, though plain and simple and the favored route, is not always the ideal path to living, to feeling present. Your barefoot trodden feet long for nothing more than to sink into oceanside sand, feeling tiny grains of crushed rock, ground and sorted, sifting between your toes, but sometimes the ends justifying the means entails an altered trip on a walkway lacking sufficient lighting.

Sometimes, you must become lost, not merely for a lesson in survival but for the sake of learning to live

Don't worry lost one; you are going to make it. You will be more than okay, but before you become enveloped in the sunshine, the great day star warming your soft and tender skin, you must step aside momentarily to the breakdown lane, where border-lining trees call you for a rest underneath their lofty overhanging branches. Never mind the yellow demarcation line splitting down the pavement; the right side equals forward movement, and the left signals traveling in the opposite direction. For now, you must sidestep, halting your travels to explore what dwells in places where the tall grass grows.

In silhouettes, there is nothing to fear; shady spaces provide lowlight reading and heightened vision through adapted, strengthened eyes

Fear not, aimless one; danger does not lurk in the outlines. Take a seat. Get off your tired feet; rest your back on the trunk of an old Maple tree. Lean into the energy of a ring-based stump holding years of wisdom. Allow the whispers of roots and veins to speak their peace as the mighty Maple covers you with her sturdy umbrella.

Umbra, shadow, penumbra, pall, cloud; time for introspection, a journey within

A deep breath in and slowly let it out; rinse, repeat. Do this several times until your mind stops racing. Surrender your innate tendency to analyze and question. Instead, be an observer. Allow thoughts their freedom; be they as they may. Follow the leader; say "okay," and do not push, prod, or ponder. Deeper and deeper into yourself-- you go, an internal voyage, ebb, and flow.

Congratulations; you've stepped outside your comfort zone

At this point, you may feel disorientated, but there is no turning back. Deeper, you go into the darkness, a must-do situation, but have no fear as all things done in the dark eventually come to light.

Sitting on the sidelines under the shade of a great Maple tree, your seated self becomes one with the nutrient-rich soil beneath your resting body. Beneath the Earth's surface lies abundant minerals, vitamins, and life-necessary resources. Although unseen, remember that many natural beauties are born lacking a light source. Beets, carrots, and potatoes, geophytes grow underground, surviving even when people think they are dead and gone. However, their built-in cooler, their food resources supply a dormant period while surviving, living, growing, and waiting to emerge, when least expected, into the light for all to see.

Oh, misled one, your nutrients, too, are rooted deep within your being. It's time to greet your dark personal aids, your ill perceived roadblocks

A momentary shift in focus back to the pavement entices you to resume the road abandoning the dimout. Yet, your preconceived notions of travel will prove disappointing without resolve if you jump ship now. Premature hasty decisions are no longer a part of your travel log; you must hang back, digging deeper into your greyscale essence, your not-so-sunny side, so you can resume your journey adequately informed with an accurate compass.

Back to your breathing; a deep breath in and let it out, rinse, repeat...

This next step may feel rather daunting, but it's all in time. You are no longer merely an observer, so put on your mindful spectacles and get ready to jump down the spiritual rabbit hole. It's time for a deeper, much deeper, look.

Resuming your thought awareness, this second step involves poking at the nagging darker thoughts that keep resurfacing. But, these thoughts never stay afloat as you unconsciously push them back into convenient mind space wells out of shame, confusion, and lack of understanding. Well, my friend, the time has come to bring the hidden to a rolling boil, exposing the truth-Your Truth!

The Great Maple tree basks in her roadside shade, confident in her earthly role; join her now in your meditative state. Ask yourself the following questions revisiting your childhood:

1. What did my family raise me to value, and how are these values different from mine?

2. What family patterns am I fearful of repeating?

3. How would I describe my life to my child self, the little girl me? What aspects do I want to leave out? What factors do I want to include in my story?

4. When was the last time I truly felt at peace? Where was I? What was I doing, and who was I with?

5. In what circumstances do I feel less than others, equal, and better? How do these instances differ, and why?

6. When did I open up to another and feel rejected? When did I open up to another and feel accepted? What information did I share in these two situations?

The above questions will trigger emotional scenarios involving a flux of feelings; sad, mad, happy, confused, accepted, dejected, distraught, and used. Allow all tears to flow, laugh all overdue laughter, embrace the child you, the hurt you, the past you, the you that's been neglected, ignored, and the you that simply needed a hug. Happy, sad, good and bad. All emotions are coming to the surface now; the shadows are finally stepping into the light

As you slowly regain earthly consciousness, opening your eyes to the surrounding shadiness, feel the comfort of the Maple tree, the soil you sit upon, and the reference to the rooted vegetables I previously noted. Remember when you ate potatoes, carrots, and beets to maintain a healthy diet, ensuring strength and vitality. Now widen your eyes to the landscape, the grassy area around you. Take note of wildflowers growing in the shade; a beautiful patch of Blue Wood Asters, Purple Coneflowers, even Great White Trillium.

Do you see it now, my friend? So many natural beauties and wonders thrive in shadows.

And now it's your turn...

As you get back on your feet, notice the stillness, the calm, the feeling of sweet surrender. Then approaching the pavement again, the road ahead takes on a different concept. Consider your newfound awareness and the illusionary roadblocks you've been projecting onto your walkway; Road Signs- work ahead, merge, caution, falling rock, detour, one lane closed. Think about how you've made an enemy, a foe, out of darkness and placed those dimmer aspects of yourself as obstacles in your walk of life.

No more

Stepping back onto the concrete, walking ahead in the right lane, you feel the high noon sun smiling on your face. Day Star lights your path with promise and many surprises on the road before you, yet your attention cannot help but turn to the left lane indicating a journey in the opposite direction. The other side of the bright yellow demarcation line is not harmful or presumptuous of backward movement, only a direction other than yours. What is most fascinating, however, is the outer edge of the lane, completely outlined in a beautiful silhouette. You did not notice this before, or perhaps you avoided its presence.

As you continue to walk forward, you smile. Shaded area to the left, sunshine to the right, hand in hand, partners all the way. For the first time in your life, you realize that light and dark are complementary and that one cannot exist without the other. There is nothing to fear in places where lowlight exists. There is no doom and gloom, no monsters, nothing waiting to take you down into an abyss. Instead, there is a unique vibration of energy, a stunning presence in its own right. Shadow areas are simply spaces blocked by an object cutting off a light source, yet gems of a different type are waiting to be found within the shade.

Keep smiling, keep walking, my friend; you get it now; you finally understand.

You never were really lost; All your resources were inside you all along. Only when you ventured into darkness did you begin to see the light.

Remember: always take time to rest in the shade. A deep breath in and let it out; rinse, repeat

Your internal compass will always guide you; you are not merely surviving; but finally starting to live.

Best wishes from one of your shadow selves; we are all here for you supporting your every step!