Longing to feel

Longing to feel the flame..

To become lost in the warmth

And distracted by the pain

May it burn away any prior stains

Take my heart by the reins

Grip my soul and teach me to be tame

Help me escape the disdain

May it open up like a piece of fruit sliced in two

Showing me things beneath its surface that make everything seem new

May it awaken my senses and grant me new pleasures before I bid adieu

May it beckon me into soft submission and make my new found vulnerability feel long overdue

It can wrench out my heart and tear it apart

In fact I'm sure it will end this way from the start

For the longest I've kept away and subdued

Thinking that I was being smart

Like a zombie dead and numb

I realize now I was just being dumb

For life had lost its fun

And now there's no where to run

Longing to find the warmth of the sun

To feel bated breath lost to anticipation

I've run out of patience

But worst I've run out motivation

Stagnant like a drying ink blot on a page

At the beginning I was consumed by rage

But at this stage

I'd just be content to be stricken from the page

A release from this barren cage

So i call out for something to usher in a new phase

Anything that can save me from my doomed state

I call out for a guide or a sign

As I sit here and scrape the plate

Of what was one the plan of my design

And now it seems I've lost everything divine

Every day feels like a waste of time

My face is blank but inside I'm crying

Wishing I was dying

I pretend to be ok for those who are spying

But inside I'm dead

Longing to feel

Down on bended knee

I make my plea

Longing for a flame

Something that strikes like a needle to the vein

I don't care if it brings pleasure or pain

As long as I'm drawn to the flame

I'll reach out toward its elegant dance

And take my chance

Caress and withstand the heat

To feel is what I seek