Loaded
A Poem of Healing
I wrote this during brunch yesterday. It was the first day in seven years that I wasn’t filled to the brim with medications. Long story short I spent many years getting misdiagnosed for what has now been fixed over the last few weeks. I was originally going to write a lengthy article, but this just leapt out of my head. For anyone dealing with chronic pain, please know there are others out there that are sharing your struggle. I hope that everyone gets as lucky as I recently have to get in front of the right doctor, and to have the life changing experience of going from being in pain everyday, to having it start to go away in what seems like overnight compared to how long it persisted. Stay strong for yourself. Stay strong for your family. It does get better.
The stain
Of chronic pain
Brought on by a sheet of frozen rain
Negatively infecting my brain
I’m loaded
But I can hold it
Pain in my side
Sometimes wishing I had died
But I have to keep moving
No other way
They need me here tomorrow
Just have to make it through today
Meds light my path
Wishing there was another way
The everyday grind
Not what everyone else means
But the coffee grinder in my hip
A slip
A fall
Constant feeling of missing my call
I’m here now
Finding my way
Wondering if this is where I should be
Reflecting on the paths that of past
Thinking of the amazement of being in the right place and time
The right person
To unwind the damage
Now, can I unwind the damage I’ve caused
She’s always been there
By my side
No matter the weather
No matter the tide
She is my wonderful wonderment
Somethings are meant to be
And there is no better place
Than having her here with me
Healing slowly
The physical is easy
The mental and emotional
Not so much
Years of persisting in a state of emotional pestilence
Gaining strength
To lend my support
So we can build our home
A fort of sorts
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Comments (1)
You may not have intended it, but do not correct it if unintended: "Somethings are meant to be And there is no better place Than having her here with me" Rather than some things, you wrote somethings. The slight difference in connotation lends to this poem about pain overcome through love an extra nuance, like the old adage about whispering sweet nothings in a lover's ear. Keep it! I can appreciate this beautiful sentiment, dealing as I have with much chronic pain of my own, and still getting up every day and working through it for others. May you endure and triumph!