Like Them Like That

I’m supposed to love the huskiness that sounds like gravel,

Or swoon over broad shoulders

And forearms with blue-green veins jutting out.

I can’t stand any of it.

The stench of sweat and puberty and unwashed skin,

And shark-like pearly white smirks looking for their next meal.

The hair on the back of my neck stands straight when a guy is too near,

And bile rises in my throat when boys try to flirt.

But my heart skips a beat when she looks at me,

My pulse dances when I smell her floral deodorant,

My palms get sweaty when she’s near by,

I see pine trees and cloudy skies in her eyes,

She turns me into a poet just by existing.

I can imagine the gentle hold of her hand,

Soft skin and peppermint gum on her breath,

As my head fits perfectly in the crook of her neck,

It’s all I want.

I want to listen to her laughing because that is my favourite song,

I could listen to her steady voice

For hours on end without getting distracted.

I imagine kissing her more than I think about my overdue English paper,

What it would be like to mix cherry and ruby lipsticks just once,

To taste the peppermint gum and not just smell it,

To see her spotlight smile come to light because of me,

To look her in those forest-like eyes without feeling guilty.

I can imagine it all so clearly.

I don’t like boys like that.

But I know I shouldn’t like her like that.

I can’t help it.

Boys aren’t evil, I know,

But every room is just darker without her there.

I’ll never look at a boy like he’s a museum painting,

Because no boy could compare to the Mona Lisa that is her very essence.

Why risk a kiss where I’ll be able to taste the copper of my own blood,

When I could taste vanilla chapstick instead?

Why drown my senses with axe body spray or old spice,

When lilac and coconut is so comforting?

I’ll never want to hold the rough and calloused hands of a boy,

Not when girls' hands feel like a hug on a cold night.

I’m in love with a girl,

And it’s not just a one hit wonder,

It’s not a phase.

I couldn’t look at boys like that if I wanted to,

But I know she can’t look at me the way I want her to.

All I can do is hope I fall for a girl,

Who will like me like that too.