life is blue

life is changing the tiles in the bathroom one by one and the grout dries while you wait for everything to be over and you sit on the stairs next to me where i’ve always been and i look so small suddenly im stuck and i look around i look over to your eyes staring at me and i tell you im sorry but i don’t think you can hear me and last night i thought of you before going to bed

life is anticipating the worst and if you don’t feel the same way i’ll move on but if i could have ten more years to be free and to travel and to sit alone in my room and lay on the floor and cry then i would spend them thinking about you and i would let you watch and please look at me from the ugly angles where you can see the hair in my nose and the pores on my cheeks life is waiting for you to say something back

life is not knowing how i feel most of the time and putting my book down and rolling in bed life is like a heavy leather jacket on your shoulders or a windy day and the street is blocked so you have to turn right instead of going straight which is the way you’ve learned and life is petting your dog no life is your dog biting you no heartbreak is your dog biting you life is blue

life is blue and blue reminds me of the people i love and the books i read life is blue and it feels like swimming in a cold lake until you can’t feel your fingers life is blue and i bought black and white film life is september at 6pm when the sun has set but there’s still some light and all you can see is blue

life is blue and it feels like your knee next to mine life is blue and it sounds like anything but a song right now it sounds like a movie playing in the background life is blue and it tastes like a hair in my mouth life is blue and it looks like open blinds and closed doors life is blue and it smells like your arm

both life and my underwear are blue and they’re intimate and they’re vulnerable and they’re not as pretty as you’d expect

both life and my underwear are blue and you’re grabbing at them with the tips of your fingers