LIFE

LIFE

The pain felt that summer’s day will always remind me of the true heartache possible.

Never have I felt abandoned and alone as I did that day.

Tears ran down my cheeks as I read that last letter written by hands no longer living; the words seemed to make no sense.

I looked at everyone sitting around the table as I saw their tears and emotions pouring out, hoping I would be able to understand what had transpired.

My tears didn’t seem to end that day; I felt the pain for many years, blaming myself for the event.

In an instant, my path in LIFE changed forever.

I moved somewhere I never wanted to be, and from that grew anger mixed with bitterness.

Making sacrifices for others seemed to be my life's path, but that couldn't be all there was for me.

After years of living for others including family, I remained undeterred from finding my true path.

Years later, I have made peace with that day and the man I once called my father.

My daughters have now reached the age when my life changed, and I have just begun to be able to explain what happened.

Life reminds me we can lose ourselves in pain and anger, but we must fight through it all to get to what we indeed are supposed to be.

The journey that began twenty-six years ago has finally reached today, where I am writing about my experience with losing a loved one to suicide.