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Letting Go

by N. Thomas 10 months ago in heartbreak
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July 2021

Letting Go
Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

There was a spark I'd never felt before

and I don't believe it's entirely gone

I still feel it sometimes when we're together

so it's hard not to try to hold on

The tighter I tried to cling to you

the further I'd end up pushing you away

Were the days I was up there with you

just like any other day?

We clicked like I'd never clicked before

I thought we were such a good fit

How do I not take it personally?

My confidence took such a big hit

It may be one of the most difficult

realities that I've ever faced

That I was so easily forgotten

so easily replaced

Even when I'm angry at you

I want the best for you, want you to be happy

But I obviously can't do that

I can't satisfy you, and I can't make you want me

I loved those days

when you'd come home to me

I'd feed you dinner and rub your back

we'd talk and laugh and watch tv

Whether we were out exploring the town,

making love, or lazy days watching a movie

I cherished it, looked forward to the next time,

it truly mattered to me

We'd talk about plans for the future

that will never come true

Did those moments we shared

really mean nothing to you?

My eyes well up when I think

that you'll never again kiss me

But it hurts so much more knowing

that you don't even miss me

(Why don't you miss me?)

It's hard thinking of not having you in my life

and this season coming to an end

You can't be bothered with me

but I always considered you a friend

The thought of never seeing you again

just keeps troubling my mind

So many firsts for me with you

it's painful knowing that it was the last time

I know I have to let go

but it hurts more than I can describe

The tightness in my chest, the knots in my stomach,

the tears in my eyes

You're hurting me so bad

and you don't even seem to know

But the hardest part of moving on

is accepting that you moved on years ago

I'll never get the apology I deserve

or the appreciation that I should

I can stop waiting on the realization

that you're losing something good

You may never acknowledge

you took me for granted or treated me bad

I need to accept I'll never get the answers I'm looking for

or the closure I wish I had

heartbreak

About the author

N. Thomas

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