Learning to Let Go

Fear coils around me

Like a rope with a mind of its own

Tightening with ruthless abandon

Cutting through flesh down to the bone

My heart pounds in my chest

My stomach jumps to my throat

Sweat drips down the back of my neck

Attempting to loosen the rope

But I’m coiled too tight

My eyesight’s gone dark

This fear is burying me alive

Filling up all my empty parts

I twist and I struggle

But the rope tightens more

I grit my teeth and lift my head

Fire in my eyes as I wage war

But the more I fight

The less grip I have on myself

I’m losing hold on reality

At death’s alter I knelt

I lower my head in shame

And release my heart of its burdens

After all, at the end of this battle

Nothing more can be worsened

And when I let go

The strangest thing happens

The fear slinks away

And the rope slackens

In my weakness I found strength

In my hopeless hour, I found answers

All this time, the fight destroyed me

It turns out that I was the cancer

The fear was just trying to protect me

I needed to accept I must let go

To welcome it in

And allow myself to grow

Understanding is the key to freedom

The more I fought the worse it got

Until I couldn’t breathe

Through all the damage it had wrought

But in the end

I bared my soul

I let fear run its course

And released control

And through that, I learned a lot

I let the waves come and go

And the winds pass

As I waited out the snow

I let the rains fall over me

And did not shy from their cold

After all, isn’t it always the fear

That teaches us how to be bold?

Fighting was not the answer

Acceptance was key

Understanding what went on in my head

Was how I learned to be free