Ladies and Gentlemen of the Press

Ladies and gentlemen of the press,

I’ve written this letter to express,

The problems we’ve suffered of late

With no intention to berate, belittle, befuddle,

How we’ve gotten in this muddle,

And may it behoove the simple point I’m trying to prove.

Our President, unfortunately, went to private schools.

And it’s clear he bought way through them as a rule.

He studied hard; he studied long,

But for all the time he spent, he never made

A passing grade in basic government.

He went on to NYMA, a School that’s secondary,

In Athletic feats and dramatic arts, he was extraordinary.

But evidently, that’s where all his time and effort went,

For he never took a course, it seems, in advance government.

Now, he grew to be a seedy type without a situation,

And through coincidence, he occupies his present station.

But of its four-year terms, my friend, he hasn’t got a hint.

For he never made any grade in any government.