Karyūkai

Soft morning sun is shining through pale-yellow gingko biloba leaves

Emitting tiny sparks of the light streaks

Leaving dark shadows on the grey wall

Behind which I do my chores

Scrubbing shoes of all geishas from okiya

Tangerine, verdant, azure

Cardinal, coral, citrine, and graphite

Each one on a wooden platform and high

Whilst I’m wrapped in a truncated version of a kimono

I’m only a maid now incomparable to a geisha of whom I could only dream and forget

All the training I was predestined to

Or perhaps there is still a chance for me in this throng inhabited by ghosts

Whilst I’m raising my prayers instead of paying for my supper

For a brighter future I could yet discover

And not only serve others

From the worst point of view for the girl

Merely in love with sweet plum and cherry ice cream

To satisfy the establishment

Full of intrigues, jealousy, and hypocrisy

In my eyes in the colour of rain

Running swiftly from shame to pride of my new maiko skills:

Making green tea, pouring sake, dancing ohayashi, playing shamisen at ochaya – a teahouse

Acting in the kabuki theatre and tying my obi

And being pleased every time I see my ideal danna

My saviour in the deep endless blue sea

With sharks, piranhas, and many smaller fishes from the pond

Trying to interrupt every step I take

To be closer to my fate

And then the war came

And instead of wearing kurotomesode – a kimono

I was destined to make it

Until my last performance

Involving dusting my oshiroi – white powder

Charcoal eyeliner, light touch of maroon eye shadow at the end of my eyelids

And a bold carmine lipstick

To let me feel myself again like a geiko – a geisha

In a dignified tsumesode kimono with richly varied colours

And shimada mage hairstyle of my nihongami wig

Although casting my hopes with the gust of wind

They returned to me as the most precious gift

Hidden between the fine lines of my outfit

Whilst treading a thin line between

The shame and the courage of my convictions

To pursue my own destiny

Instead of constantly fighting with it

*

Many times, I feel like a geisha hidden from the whole wide world

And only reaching it whilst writing my words

Being an instantaneous effort to communicate

Among the fallen leaves of society

For one moment impersonating the greatest geisha in the Miyako hanamachi

*

4 May 2021

***

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