Karma

Riddle me this I say to thee... how many stars do you really see? One... two... three... So much more than those I’ve seen.

To stand still in the cold night air and watch as the night unfolds.

Waiting, barely breathing, silently you feel it come over and touch your cheek as it slowly passes through you. Your breathe sucks in and you find yourself holding until you realize it and try not to exhale too deeply so as not to be heard.

Souls are what I see waiting paitiently for me to do the right thing. I raise my face towards the sky and scream... Why?!

Running as fast as I can towards the light that keeps moving forward all day and all night. Spinning, floating almost like fish in the sea. I know they’re all staring at me. Hoping and silently praying that I wake up out of this dream.

How did we get separated and when did it take place? Trying to recall my life events and to place the moment or the person that may have caused me to lose my faith. I only think of one and the pain is too great.

Like a thief in the night he came slowly stalking his prey. He could barely look at her for the beauty blinded him. Such a small round face with rosy lips big hazel eyes and long curly strawberry colored hair. He thought I must have her for myself. He hears a noise and quickly turns to leave so as not to wake her.

From that moment on he could not take a breathe without a wanting desire to be near this child. Just a young man himself he feels confused and goes on never to see her again until she is a woman.

I’ve known you since before I was born and I’ve loved you since the moment our eyes met. I did not know you when I first saw you but I felt the warmth and familiarity in your face.

You knew me before I was born and you have waited a lifetime for me. The world got me and kept me from your protective presence. You searched for me and found others like me but never being fulfilled you continued searching.

How did this happen to us? How did so many years go by without an embrace? As I grew older the dream began to fade and slowly I forgot the love that I had deep within me. Inside I died.

Moving on with my life I was more driven than most. I refused to ask for love and focused on the opposite. Almost completely forgetting the great love inside of me that I was born with.

The gift that was given to me that no one else knows of unless they allow themselves to be loved. Mine was put in a box and sealed and never opened again.

Finally as the years passed I had a family of my own and still never felt that love. Many more years went by and still I refused to allow myself to feel love. The mere thought of it sent me into a whirlwind of pain.

I drowned the people around me with your love, my love, I have kept it all these years and saved it for you. It is yours and it never was not. You gave it to me long ago. I’ll never forget that although it’s not been said. I’ve carried this secret my whole life and I wanted you to know...

Today I still have my box and all of the pain and suffering has finally dissipated and all that remains inside is Hope.

For Daddy