Ixtlilton

Did I abandon you first?

- or have my mother’s worries shielded you from getting to me?

- or did her mother’s addictions stop her from sleeping?

- or did her mother’s mother’s shame?

- or her great-grandmother’s loss?

My grandmother’s grandmother did not even worship you

I reach for you because I have nowhere else to go

I stumble my way back to find gods who already know me

- and some of them watch me walk away

Do they also know I won’t be able to find them?

Do you watch over me like a doting padrino, knowing I can’t find my ancestral guardians, but you’ll care for me anyway?

…

Sleep escapes me

I escape sleep

I escape you

…

I lie awake for myself

preoccupied with tomorrow

needing rest but excited to start

tomorrow cannot come to me faster

Come spend some time with me

Will you lie next to me until I fall asleep?

With you, it won’t take very long

then you can go to the next child

you can even take them a dream