Isolation

The U.S. Surgeon General said recently that

the real epidemic is NOT the

Coronovirus pandemic

but the epidemic of loneliness.

I remember my Christmas dinner

from this previous year -

stir-fried rice with medium-well steak

a bottle of red sangria

and brussel sprouts -

and I took a photo to memorialize

my creation and the memory of

how lonely it felt.

On Lunar New Year 2021,

I, along with other Chicagoans,

were quarantined

by the impenetrable wall of

snow,

an avalanche for the soul.

Where is Life heading?

I often wonder -

a friend wrote that the meaning of Life

is searching for the meaning of Life -

is this really true?

I had this vision - a suave

for all the bullshit of the past two months,

the bullshit of the past four years, actually:

you in my bed,

caressing, holding

me.

Us in bed for the next 24 hours

quarantined by our Love and bliss and youthful innocence.

Except this is all a mirage,

as my fortune-teller Sage and Time whispered

in my naive ears.

So I'm left with nothing,

on this nondescript Sunday -

except for this lonely hotel room,

memory of a lonely Christmas dinner ,

accompanied by a single, red candle,

and the feeling of being caved in

by the snow,

by the harshness,

by your cruelty,

by your toxicity,

the innocence you drained from me.

Will another come along?

I don't know.

I can only hope that

this another will ferry me to

higher heights and to a greater clarity

than you

You are NOT clarity -

you blur my vision

until I think I can no longer see

until I think I am going to go crazy

by your cruelty and toxicity

There must be another,

Another,

Even if it's another version of this

Even if it's another version of this