Is this it?

Why?

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Why is it so?

Why don’t I know?

Why?

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Why do we try?

Why must I not cry?

Why?

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Why am I here?

Why do I fear?

Why?

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Why you? Why me? Why are we not — we?

Why?

The mind must give in yet the heart still — why?

— Tony Badu

Ok, enough fancy wordplay (maybe it’s not even fancy?) — Why am I here? Well, I am at a new low point in my life. My partner left me (yes I am 50% to blame), I lost my job, I couldn’t afford to pay for the flat we had so ended up moving back to mums and we all just came out of lockdown (well sort-of. At least for us in the UK).

All sounds gloomy, right? Or not, people are still losing their lives or loved ones from COVID and other crazy worldly happenings.

Let me introduce myself quickly — “Hi!” I’m Tony, a male in his early thirties. Trained as an industrial designer, living in the UK somewhere (back at my mum's due to the above) who is not trying to figure out things — main focus: Life: is this it?.

Many have come before me and many are still on this journey. I know, I know, there is no answer to this question but the last few months has lead me on a journey of discovery (self-discovery? I already know I exist). I have tried new things; Therapy (tabu in my culture), speaking about emotions and feelings, shadow work, inner child work, and challenging family about how crappy we have all been and still are to each other, are just a few trips I have currently and still am taking.

I’m here to share my personal findings and discuss them with others if you care to.

— If anything hopefully my writing and poetry gets just a little bit better…

Tony Badu

Industrial Designer trying to understand the meaning of things. Current focus: Life and being a man.