Insomnia

I want to say I miss you

I want to express my heart

I want to hug him

Feel his warmth

The peace found

In his scent, his presence

My heart

Please wait

Don’t tear

Don’t swell

Don’t crack

It’s all okay

Please listen

Please listen

He knows

He’s patient

His love is real

All of him

So genuine

Don’t cry

Just be patient

You’re closer

Than you’ve ever been

He isn’t going anywhere

He’s not leaving

This is all real

This is all happening

This isn’t a dream

This isn’t a nightmare

This isn’t a mind game

Just be patient

Don’t cry

Just rest

Just close your tear filled eyes

It’s okay

I struggle

I cry on and off

I just want to go home

Silent tears

No one to hear

My heart and I

Maybe one day

I can laugh

About how

This past of mine

Withered, how

It faded into something

Beautiful, right?

Everywhere I look

Every video that comes up

Your soulmate

Your twin flame

Your this

Your that

My heart is hurting

I’m trying to balance

To find my balance

To be patient

To be supportive

To be understanding

To believe something majestic

Is being made or is coming

I have no words to describe

How hard it’s been for me

How difficult it is to love someone like this

I crave all of him

I miss all of him

He’s my whole heart

He’s all I’ve ever wanted

And he’s so far away

Not blocks, but miles away

I feel like I have no say

I need a miracle Hashem

I cannot sleep and I’m trying

Tossing and turning

He’s so important to me

I don’t know what to do

I don’t know what to say

I don’t know how to feel

I feel numb tonight

Red eyes

Wishing I could be with him

Wishing I could ask for a hug

The way I used to

Wishing I could ask for a ride home

Wishing I could spend time with him

Even if less than an hour if I don’t deserve more than that

Even if just a glance from the other end of a book store or coffee shop

Who needs to drink to feel a hangover in the morning

When you have these random drops, slips

When I just feel like I’m caged

There’s no one to set me free

Life without him is so miserable

He’s my forever

I just wanted to be with the man of my dreams

I just wanted to see him smile at me again

I just wanted to listen to him

I just wanted the punishment to end

I just want to be more positive

The way he is, the way he just goes on about life

There’s no one else that makes me feel the way he does

There’s no one else like him ever

He’s my blessing

He’s my answered prayer

He’s so strong

He’s so much more confident than I am

I just need a miracle

Insomnia