Insanity Asylum

Athazagoraphobia: Fear of being left and forgotten.

Here I am sitting all by myself in this terrifyingly silent, cubically padded room lying still and awake. My brains and blood are tranquilized and fried in a stew of morphine and seroquel to keep me nice and docile, so I can continue to be brainwashed over and over and over and over and over and over again. It’s so cold and I’m freezing!

I can see my own breath, as my temperature drops lower and lower and lower and lower and lower and lower, descend. I’m chained up in this heavy, hot white jacket I can’t escape from. They say that it’s for my own protection, and I can’t hurt myself or anyone around me.

Otherwise, I’d kill myself or perhaps even anyone that gets close enough to me..I’m a danger to this world..atleast that is what my doctor says.

I guess I should blindly trust that I am here for my own safety and well-being.

I’m only here because love drove me crazy, and I went right off the deep end, while I lost my mind trying to find you. They all said I was deranged and you were all in my head..a figment of my imagination..another ghost in the wall. I waa driven to madness because no one else could see or sense you in any way. No one could see you right here by my side.

No one could hear you talking my ear off..I guess they all just thought I was sitting here talking to myself and telling myself cheesy jokes, and asking myself the questions, I myself, would then eagerly answer. Maybe I do belong here in this hell but as long as I could sense you, I was home, right where my heart and soul truly belongs forever, even if only I could be there, just you and me.

Many might even accuse me of witchcraft, and sighting ghosts and poltergeists.

Maybe I conversate and boss myself around. Maybe I believe in vampires, zombies, and ghouls but there is nothing that compares to how hungry I am.

You make me so thirsty and keep me wanting more, starving for more blood flesh between my enameled teeth and gums. Perhaps just one more dripping kidney in my hands, so dark and crimson it looks of blood and chocolate.

I was brave for so long, and then I met you, and all my deep seeded fears and phobias came rising to the top like a volcano with acid-reflux.

The fear of losing someone, who was never even there, drove me mad, it made me absolutely nuts on and off all day and all night like a haunted lamp that only I could unplug.

Athazagoraphobia quickly sets in, as this Insanity Asylum completely wipes my memory and erases me like a mistake on a chalkboard. This heavy God-forsaken white jacket, finally once off my warm yet stiff body, I’d scratch my own skin off and rip all of my hair out strand by strand, piece by piece by piece by piece by piece by piece again!

They pour and shovel depressants and antipsychotics down my throat just to keep me higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher until I can’t remember my own name once more. I lost my discretion waiting to be with the same devil I fell so deeply in love with..forever and ever and ever and ever..