Impenitent

Why should I apologize to those who get offended when I don’t fit in the box they have placed me in? I’m not the person they think I am or want me to be. When faced with the truth, it becomes even more difficult to look into the mirror. I am aware of my flaws, faults, and imperfections, and don’t need to be reminded of them. I am getting over the destruction that bitterness and people pleasing left in my life. Overcoming the heartache and pain that became invisible to onlookers isn’t an easy task when it goes unspoken. I will rise up from the ashes more magnificent than before. No longer living in the shallowness of other people’s perception of me. They fear me because I have become the person they once longed to be. The fantasy world of rainbows and lollipops has been long forgotten. My path of happiness is not others to dictate. Tired of people that barely know me thinking that they know me better than I know myself. I have triumphed more than spectators want to believe. Being my own best friend is dealing with all the fakeness of those who claim to know what’s best for me. I’m done searching and reaching out for help that doesn’t even work. The wounds and scars go further below the surface. I can go for days without tears swelling my eyes and have a good day or two. Being impenitent is not the best dwelling place. There are so many masks throughout the day that it’s draining. I’m just trying to find the real me among the joyfully agonizing chaos that I live.