Avid poet and writer.
There’s a voice prodding me to awaken from the darkness. I’m no longer wanting to be the lost little girl any more. Exploring the roads that were once considered too dangerous to cross. Not being held back by the bondages of the fears of others. The innocence that people once seen in me no longer exists, yet they wish it still remained. Captivated by a light that no one wanted me to see shine. The chains of the past have been cast away to never return. Seeing the fear in the eyes of others from me turning into the beautiful creature I’m becoming. The many mountains that I was told that I could not defeat have become mere ant hills. I’ve seen things that some consider unfathomable, and that I’m considered too young to even have witnessed. I refuse to be called the monster people are condemning me of being. The light that is shining within me is becoming too much for those who don’t want me to rise above them. The demons in my life have shown me a world that is up to me to either fight for or shut down. I’m afraid to let my guard down because I have been hurt too many times. The shackles that use to tie me down are nothing more than a distant memory. I’ve experienced a rapture that isn’t confined to a spiritual realm. The cage is not the confine that can hold me any longer. I’m not a possession that’s controlled by those who have failed to move beyond their own bondages of fear.
Why should I apologize to those who get offended when I don’t fit in the box they have placed me in? I’m not the person they think I am or want me to be. When faced with the truth, it becomes even more difficult to look into the mirror. I am aware of my flaws, faults, and imperfections, and don’t need to be reminded of them. I am getting over the destruction that bitterness and people pleasing left in my life. Overcoming the heartache and pain that became invisible to onlookers isn’t an easy task when it goes unspoken. I will rise up from the ashes more magnificent than before. No longer living in the shallowness of other people’s perception of me. They fear me because I have become the person they once longed to be. The fantasy world of rainbows and lollipops has been long forgotten. My path of happiness is not others to dictate. Tired of people that barely know me thinking that they know me better than I know myself. I have triumphed more than spectators want to believe. Being my own best friend is dealing with all the fakeness of those who claim to know what’s best for me. I’m done searching and reaching out for help that doesn’t even work. The wounds and scars go further below the surface. I can go for days without tears swelling my eyes and have a good day or two. Being impenitent is not the best dwelling place. There are so many masks throughout the day that it’s draining. I’m just trying to find the real me among the joyfully agonizing chaos that I live.