If You Only Knew

Mom,

You wrote me a letter so I thought it would only be fitting that I write you back.

I never told you this, maybe if I had things would be different.

If you only knew that you were always enough.

I mean how could you not be?

All the long hours at work that made you so tired you could barely stay awake through bedtime stories and the way you always found time to be at every game, practice, or concert. Not to mention the extra work you had to do to pay for it all. If only you knew that it was enough.

I know that it was never easy but you always made it look that way.

I never understood how you handled life’s curveballs the way you did.

You would just roll with the punches, calmly assessing how to make each road block turn into just a little speed bump. Usually with great success I might add.

You overcame every obstacle that was thrown your way with such a calm strength, that I thought nothing could ever break you.

If only I knew that it was just breaking you slowly.

I never told you how I would catch you wiping your tears, as I walked into a room.

You would throw a big smile on your face for me, hoping I hadn’t noticed.

If only you knew that I had.

If only you knew that you didn’t have to wipe those tears.

That I loved you wether you could handle it all or not. That you didn’t have to carry it all on your shoulders.

That your family loved and valued you.

That your family needed you.

That we still need you.

In the letter you left me, you said that life would be better without you.

If only you knew that it’s not.

Maybe then you would have stayed.

I Will Love You Always

- Your Little Man