If today I pass away...
we always see things like this
social media is flooded with them
being passed around like a meme of Judge Joe Brown
by people who are hurting
but will turn around and say
FUCK YOU
because the person they portray would never go down
like that
because even the smallest show of weakness is whack
ain't you a man?
and you, don't you got a good husband or boyfriend?
didn't you just post that new car?
Yeah!
to show off for y'all
that shit ain't what it seems
I ain't out here livin no fuckin dream
when I pull that camera away from my face
get done showing all you muthafuckas I'm winning this race
the people who surround me stand off on the sidelines
not giving enough fucks to acknowledge that I'm tryna be
somebody...
but when they do decide
"oh now it's time to provide"
the only thing they offer is a steaming pile of negative shit
while Barbara from Arkansas who I've never met
congratulated me
fed me praise like all the other, what do you call them?
Nobody's?
but that's me too, right?
cause you can't see what I achieved, right?
cause I ain't bought you shit, right?
ain't handed you no dividends, right?
cause if I ain't did shit for you I ain't really doing shit right
can only see me through what I can do for you
cause all that shit you did for me
like that one time...
wait
no like that time
shit
why can't I think of a time when you actually gave a fuck?
gotta be a slight chance I'm just forgetting
cause ain't no way
after all these years I'm still tryna please this demon
but I am
because behind all the post about not giving a fuck
I give absolutely too many
so when I make this post it's not for
Barbara, Pam or Kenny
it's for you
and I sit here
too afraid of your answer
so, I don't address you directly
I couldn't
if I did I wouldn't
be able to make an excuse for you
"oh it's because you didn't @ me"
"it's social media you know they rather show shit from 12 days ago rather than shit you just tweeted"
"I must've missed it"
I guess my downfall is this caring shit
cause after all this
I still hit post
and I wonder
what would you say
if today I pass away
About the Creator
Mikela Bacon
Hi, my name is Mikela and I am a 25 year old author, blogger and poet.
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