For Rick's interesting "If" prompts, which can be found embedded below if you'd like to give it your own try.
If I were a rich man
dibidibidibidiii I wouldn't have to dibidibidum, if I were a wealthy man.
If I could fly
My neighbour would need to visit a car wash daily
If I were a dog
I'd probably run in front of the aforementioned car.
If I were the moon
I'd change my loop to an oval to fuck up the weather system for giggles.
If I were the king
In the great (translated) words of Vincente Fernandez in his iconic Mexican ballad, El Rey, "With money and without money, I always do what I want, and my word is the law. I have no throne or queen. Nor anyone who understands me, but I'm still the king!"
If I could be at two places at one time
I would have a really great alibi.
If I were a car
I'd probably be impounded after being used in a vehicular manslaughter case.
If I was money
It'd never be in anyone's pocket again.
If I were a painting
I'd be covered in oil.
If I were to go insane
I'd be like everyone else.
If I were the President
I'd see if I could get a better handicap in golf than Trump and a better handicap mentally than Biden.
If I were a good man
It would be harder to win.
About the Creator
Tommy Ballard
I'm a professional writer, a poet, a digital artist and an amateur musician. In my free time, I can often be found pondering magnets, breaking and entering random homes to steal locks of human hair and throwing car batteries into the ocean.
Comments (3)
Well hell. This is like for real. Let's tell it like it is. Truth time. Yep, yep yeppers.
Again, I find you scaring me...but all the same, you make me laugh, so it balances....but stay away from my car and leave my hair alone, too. (your profile)
Hahahahahhahahahahaha omgggg these were hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣