I Want You To Know So Many Things.

I want you to know so many things.

I want you to know,

I want you to know that

I want you,

I want you to be:

Next to me

Touching me

Caressing me

Holding me

But I know that you know that

The only things holding me together right now are threads of worn-down string found in the attic,

And the dirty pieces of tape taken from a battered box in the basement,

But that won’t always be the case,

Please have faith in me,

I want you to know,

I want you to know that

You don’t need to be anything when you’re with me,

You can:

Lean on me

Lean into me

Cry in my arms

Wrap your arms around me

You can be a soft ball of neediness with me,

You would have done the same for me anyway,

You don’t need to be anything that you are when you’re out and about in this big, bad world,

One so fixated on slaughter and brutality,

I am so damn lucky,

You don’t know this,

Or maybe you do,

But I am the luckiest girl in the world,

I am so fucking lucky,

Because one of these days, I will get to see this side of you,

That day is written on the pages of our book,

Soaked in both of our tears,

I want you to know so many things,

I want you to know that I walk faster than most people,

But I don’t walk any further from where you stand,

I never could,

I don’t want to,

I never will,

You know that I could never settle down for even an instant,

But with you, I will build a home,

I want you to know all these things,

But you don’t even know the craziest thing,

I want you to know that this is just the beginning,

It’s just the beginning,

Can you believe it?

I can’t either, but it’s true, and so I will,

And I am so, so grateful.

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