I Trusted Him

I trusted him

After all these years I finally cracked back my ribs and exposed my heart to love him

I wanted him to know me

I was finally going to let him see me

But everything I wrote

Everything I wrote came true

Like how my grey turned to blue because you quickly took away my hues

Like when you forgot my calls and missed my messages, because you were “in you’re own world” broken up and blue

Maybe I’m naïve so eager to let my guard down that I couldn’t see

You were an demon in disguise a twisted design handcrafted by the devil to make me go blind

And I was blind wandering down a street that was so unknown to me

Stumbling and tripping over words gaining an obsession that wasn’t healthy

Wishing that I wasn’t just a joke while anxiety overwhelmed me

I just wanted to be loved, but I guess that made me a perfect candidate for you

A man so drenched in red and blue that you came to destroy my every mood

I wanted you

But like every other man you wanted the her you saw in me

Isn’t it a twisted thing?

Looking inside a girl for healing

But I guess you got what you wanted

I saw her on your page after my short social media break because you just had to flaunt her

You showed me that by and by, far and wide, men are all the same

And what I thought and feared was right

No one could ever love a thorn

Because they’re all too busy comparing her to a rose

Their rose

And who can come near those petals he placed on a pedestal?

Their drenched in fiery red and fuchsia hues that light up their world just like the moon

I’m monotone

Monotone compared to a rose

My white, green, and yellow are not deep enough for a burning desire and not bright enough to get you lost in the fire

But I’ll find him one day I guess

But congrats on winning her back again

One day I’ll forget it

Like how it felt when you’d tell me how your day was going,

When we’d ramble on about nothing,

How you’d tell me I was beautiful and how I’d pray to God begging him to stop my heart from its steady soar

Because the fall would hurt more the higher I rose

And I rose

And I fell

And you let me fall to the stone

I should have know, but I couldn’t have

You’d say every word I though of before it could escape my lips

Most desires in life we shared and I can be honest when I say I haven’t met a man like you anywhere

But I’m expendable I guess

A rebound before you claimed your princess

I hope she’s all you ever wanted and more and I hope you can both walk through that door

I’m broken right now, but soon I’ll be fine

I’ll retrace my steps and one day I’ll be at the starting line

Ready to jump, ready to trust, ready to love

Cuz right now I’m just really numb.