I Still Love You But I Love Myself More

I still love you but I love myself more

Hey you,

I know we haven’t talked since..

Well you know..

It’s a weird situation because I would never thought we ever ended up like this.

I kinda feel like I’m in a simulation,

Waiting for you to pull me out of this horrible dream.

But I know you never will.

Do you remember our first kiss on the bench.

The fire between us dancing and combining through the air,

Knowing that we didn’t care if we were broken.

We could mend each other’s imperfections that everyone else sees.

But I guess you finally let your parental demons win

Filling you with doubt,

Like a drip bag with poison,

Slowly turning you against me,

Until they turn you into a weapon to hurt me with.

Sure you apologized,

Saying that you didn’t mean it that way,

But even if I believe that,

Those awful words that came out of you,

That my father basically said on repeat,

Will always be in the back of my head where my own demons live.

That’s why I can’t forgive you.

I still love you and I hate it,

Because it would be so much easier if I didn’t.

I still see us in my dreams like how we were.

I still am checking our texts wondering where I went wrong and why you stop fighting for us.

I still love you but I love myself more to forget about you,

Because I deserve someone who never says that I’m a burden,

Or my disability is too much for them to handle.

No matter what the reason you came up with.

Your fire is out but mine is still burning,

Filling me up with love even when my heart breaks.

Knowing that I’m better off without you.