I Put Viagra in His Tea

I Put Viagra in His Tea

What happened next astonished me

I put Viagra in his tea

what happened next astonished me

the teabag went stiff, with an awful whiff

of something not quite Tetley

The mug went warm, it gave a shake

his biscuit bent, began to break

and every spoon I tried to dip

stood upright with a rigid grip

He sipped it once, he sipped it twice

said, “Blimey, love, this tea’s got spice.”

Then dropped his pants to cool his thighs

and winked with saucer eyes

The cat ran off, the kettle squealed

the kitchen door near came unsealed

I only meant to test the myth

now he’s marching round with pride and pith

So heed this tale, you cheeky lot

don’t stir strange pills in someone’s pot

unless you’re craving front row seats

and fancy bouncing more than sheets