I’m missing you everyday

Every day is a struggle I feel like I cannot cope, the decisions I had made for you was supposed to give me more hope.

The stress and worries were supposed to get lighter, instead they are intensified.

While everyone was excited for you they did not know that your mom was dying inside.

I knew that I would miss you and thought your not that far away, deep down I am realizing that my heart is breaking every day.

Although your behavior is improving I just wish everything else would follow. Maybe if I was closer to you then you would not seem to get hollow.

I miss holding you in my arms and rocking you until you were calm, I miss your laughter which made me feel joy wherever we are.

The songs you would sing brought tears to my eyes, and it made me happy to know that they are getting a special little guy.