I'll Just Say Nothing

"I want you to come with me,"

Those were your words;

"I can't be with you until I sort out my difficulties"

These were my words,

"Won't you hold on for me?"

I begged.

"I'll hold on until we can be together," you said.

These words weren't enough.

I was pregnant with another man's child, you see,

Stuck in a trauma-bond,

Stuck in my mind,

Though I wanted to be with you.

"I'll still wait for you," you told me,

"How long for?" I asked,

"As long as it takes," You said.

Wasn't I a fool for believing you?

Yes, a fool for believing that you loved me

enough to stick around;

And, stand by me in my time of misery.

Yes, you told me that you would,

"Stick around,"

"As long as it takes," remember?

And now;

You come crawling back to me,

After thirty years of leaving me wandering

whether you cared at all;

Leaving me alone for all that time,

To struggle through the pain,

And walk through the heartbreak,

Watching my entire life crumble without you.

I walked into your shop,

Thirty years later;

"Hi?" you say with a smile,

You don't even remember my name,

Though you stare at me as if you do.

I remember you though,

With your bright eyes,

And your puppy dog smile;

I mean,

Come on,

How could I forget you

The man who left me,

The man who filled my head with false promises,

The man I truly fell in love with,

Who I thought would be committed enough to stay?

The man who broke my heart and never mended it.

We were standing there for a whole hour,

While I tried to take back my power;

"You remind me of a friend I lost many years ago,"

I tell you,

Followed by a hint;

"Do you like Pink Floyd and Black Sabbath?"

You tell me that you do,

Yet still you do not say my name.

You tell me something I already know,

"They are my favorite bands,"

"I know," I reply, smiling.

At that moment, you stop talking,

And out, I start walking;

In truthfulness, my heart was aching,

Yet, still, all I wanted to do was to get away from you.

All I could do at that moment was watch you stare at me

walking away,

So,

Next time I see you;

I'll just say nothing,

Because my words are never enough.