I Have Spoken

Solitary confinement, replaying the tape

Leaving myself no way to escape

One moment I’m living happily ever after

Next moment I’m replaying the same bad chapter

Years spent wandering in the wilderness

Betrayed by the very one I used to kiss

Battling crazy thoughts and unfiltered anger

Putting my own wellbeing in crazy danger

Then I switch up and get a new perspective

Rerouted to focus on the objective

There are times I wanna sing and dance

Other times I’m stuck in some trance

Reliving everything that pisses me off

If this is a ride, I want to get off

Insanity working its way in

I won’t go down that road again

I just want to drink and not feel

But that is how the darkness reveals

So, I go cold turkey even though it hurts

Get my grind on and focus on work

Bipolar anxiety laced with depression

Acting out in fits of aggression

What is my calling, what do I want?

Can someone please wave a magic wand?

I know it doesn’t work that way

Frustrated, it’s been a hell of a day

Thinking that others are winning

All the while my mind is spinning

Ripping the misery from my chest

Is the only way I can be my best

Somebody save me from myself

All of this is no good for my health

I have to shake addiction and shake this wrath

I won’t survive if I take that path

I understand that door had to be closed

I looked into it and I exposed

My healing heart brings me wisdom

Getting the past out of my system

I am finally headed in the right direction

Time for action, no more reflection

Finally doors are beginning to open

This is a testimony, I have spoken