I Feel Like I Don't Exist Anymore

I feel like I don't exist anymore.

This realization comes to me in a quiet darkened room when I should be sleeping, not thinking.

I miss the man that will come lay next to me. I miss him even though he is only feet away, right next to me.

I miss the baby that is crying for me, even as I desperately hope that he goes back to sleep so I don't have to get out of bed.

I miss myself.

In the shadows of the room, I see relics of my life. I see things I used to touch, use, that would bring me joy. They are dusty now because the person that used them is gone.

I had hopes and dreams and desired to do things, anything. Now, I am gone and am only him.

The best, most magical love. The most all consuming love. I am whatever he needs, not myself.

I lay down and whisper that I love him. And I pray pray pray to the gods and stars that he sleeps, that I sleep, and that I have it in me to find myself again one day.