I Dreamt of An Awakening

I don’t want to be awake. I don’t want to pour myself a glass of water.

I want to sit here and smoke.

I don’t want this cigarette to go out. I don’t want the song to end.

I don’t want a photo album in my pocket but rather

in my head an album full of bittersweet ballads and beautiful melodies reminding me of you and

them

and

all the good times I’ve had.

I want to dance like I did with you at the bowling alley. I want to love like I did before I wandered off into the alleyway with a jacket pocket of Jack,

lost in the dim city lights of San Francisco, searching for my car stumbling up steps with scars on my arms.

I don’t need to drift into a barrier on the 85 freeway.

I want to be free of my nightmares…

of the vivid fires I leave behind in my search for you.

And if I am awake then send me back for another dream of a bed with you beside me.