I Don't Know

I don’t know what it is,

This smile that I wear on Tuesdays,

Transition lenses hide my eyes

Whenever you shine my way.

***

I don’t know why I cry,

Unable to recognize the source of my tears.

I laugh and I live and I love like the bar wall says,

I wish you came.

***

I don’t know if I miss you.

I think I am free?

I know that I am bound to you,

Damned for all eternity.

***

I don’t know if it’s painful.

It’s not that I am strong.

Or even that it won’t kill me,

In the end I know I am wrong.

***

I don’t know I need you.

I think I can do it on my own,

That I am the source of all that I am,

Wondering why I am left alone.