i can’t go to the gym today

I can't go to the gym today

I can't make my body more

Noticeable

than it already is

I’ll eat whatever sugar is

left in this house

Or I'll slice whatever body part

I need to

To keep you away

To make it ugly

Because it feels ugly

It feels ugly the way

They stare

The way they grab

The way my soul

Is neglected

For my ass.

It feels ugly

To lie in bed

With a cold

And have no one to call

Until I’m not contagious

So they can fuck me again

I don't know how many more fucks I can

give.