I am Love

I am Love

I grew up believing it was love but really its abuse

That binding pain is all I have known and I sadly mistook it for love

Now it’s time to break free of those chains of my past

To break free of you and move on

To good times and something better

Something I am worthy of, something I am deserving of

You taught me the wrong lesson

I’m here to break the endless cycles and patterns that no longer serve me

If you were here I would scream at you this is not love, or softly whisper this is not love

I wish more people understood what you gave me is not love

You taught me the wrong lesson

Entangled, enmeshed, bound by you and you made it all my fault

It’s not my fault, I was young, naïve and I believed you but

I know now this is not love

It is just a cycle I was born into and I have kept repeating it believing it was love

This is not love, it is abuse and pain and suffering and trauma

It is not love because I have found the key to what love really is and

I will find it before I die. I will find it before I lay down to rest

I know what love is now. It is shiny and bright and filled with sunshine

Love is cool and smooth and flows like the tides in the ocean

Love is the moon and the stars and comets in the night sky

Love is the earth, the grass, leaves on trees, someone’s laughter

Love is slow and steady and filled with smiles and joy

Love is simple and constant and it has no pretence

Love is easy and kind and often has no words

Love has flaws that can be worked through

Love is round and whole and ok on it’s own

Love is silent and lasting and it gives you ground

It does not take it away like the love I learnt

I am learning my own lesson on love and it fills me up

As I grasp it not wanting to break it like the wings of a butterfly

This is love, not what you taught me. You were not love, you were just pain

Pain I am ready to let go of because love is truth

You can choose love or hate and I will always choose love;

It is time, it is time for love. It is time for happiness, time for joy;

It is time for peace and calm, it is time to dance in the rain;

All clichés I know but clichés I need now because it is time for love.

So what is love? Love is what I need;

It is the softness of my dog’s breath and tongue as she gently licks my hand when I am sad.

It is misty rain on my face as I gently wipe it away;

Love is watching Tik Tok videos that make you laugh from the inside;

Love is sitting with a friend in silence and feeling right at home.

Love is other people who simply understand;

Love is gentle and soft and it knows no bounds;

It is not what you taught me, it is not what I have known;

It is not what I have known until now.

Now I know it – because the lesson is so very simple;

Yes so very, very, very simple;

I have found what love really is;

It was easy because in the end what I learnt

Is that LOVE is ME.