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I am 27

by Hufflecup 9 days ago in sad poetry / performance poetry / heartbreak / art
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and have never been in a relationship

I am 27

and have never been in a relationship

that feels like a failure somehow

an adult that has never gotten past the first date

and I have tried

I had a lot of crushes growing up

because I loved anyone who truly seemed to care about being around me

who enjoyed my company and acknowledged that they liked me

like me when I could be myself

but I was always misreading signals

and they didn't like me like that

which I accepted and moved on

but somehow the friendship always faded after that

and the pain of losing a friend

is the kind of pain that teaches a lesson

and so I learned to ignore my crushes

having feelings for someone only ever ended in me being sad

so I turned to the dating apps

the expectations were clear there

if you were talking to someone there was a mutual interest

suddenly I was confident in the conversation

made me charming and funny from a distance

and I lived out the intensity of whole relationships

without ever meeting people in person

I had every emotion met I had ever needed to feel

and then sparks would fade if we met in person

so even in the easily connected digital age of dating

called hookup culture

I can't find a person with the desire to actually be with me

I am permanently chasing people who don't return my feelings

and so I have made it to 27 and never had a partner

what if I tell that to the next person I really like

and they consider it a red flag

and so they don't want to date me either

even if they did before that

or we start dating

and I get to the point where I admit that this is my first relationship

and that worries them

so they see me in a new light

and slowly but surely

lose interest in me

and we break up

I might stop trying if I get hurt again

might be single forever

just to avoid ever being rejected

am I so delicate

if so

I am certain I will be alone forever

like the exhibit at the museum

with so many warnings on it

that people avoid it entirely

because if you touch this precious vase

even gently

it will break

sad poetryperformance poetryheartbreakart

About the author

Hufflecup

I want nothing more than to dedicate my life to writing, so I figured I would start here to test the waters. I will be submitting stories to as many communities as possible.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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Comments (18)

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  • Angelina F. Thomas6 days ago

    I dislike that I am unable to tip and pledge because I need comma's in my wallet in billions of dollars to the point i need a money counter lol and I am working striving praying and waiting. The waiting game is something else geez.

  • Great work. Keep it up you're doing great!!

  • great text. Amazing..

  • Thank you for being so vulnerable, it takes strength to share this. I never thought guys felt the same things I feel. My double standards, forgive me for this. I, like you, have had so many crushes, and only once did I feel that someone loved me too. But, besides him, all I’ve had is heartbreak. I give too much and I realized that no one has truly seen me, the real me. They just couldn’t see more than my appearance, I’ve been desired, but not loved. Now, I’m not ready to be seen, I’ve invested more in self love. I know what I’m worth, so I won’t settle for anyone who doesn’t see me. The survivor, the kind, the passionate, the funny and smart person that I am. I know someone will love me, when I’m ready. I see you, and you are beautiful. Don’t loose hope, you will be loved.

  • Relationship is same as having none. Have a good relationship with yourself. Treat yourself right, look after your own. Then have open mindedness for others and accept somebody with all their flaws and whatnot. As long as you remember yourself you will be fine with others too. Take this leap of faith, instead of serving people and be likable be more comfortable with yourself around others even when they doesn't like you that way. Things changes time changes and what's attractive is how you treat yourself with or without somebody else, and then others also come. Hope this helps!

  • Amy Hall8 days ago

    Never settle for anything less than what you want and deserve. It will happen. Live and love yourself and you will be ready for when it comes.. subscribed!

  • A daughter has also had this experience. Time without a partner can allow you to develop into a person who knows themselves. There is some strength in that.

  • Ryan Kimball8 days ago

    You've Highlighted a struggle of many people in our generation very well here. It's a search for the things that we knew were important when we were young.

  • Sean Byers8 days ago

    I especially like the resolving metaphor to this piece. Really evocative of a similar sense of ennui/isolation I tried to capture in my latest piece. Let me know what you think https://vocal.media/poets/until-they-rest-in-you

  • NH9 days ago

    Good stuff!

  • Just that title alone pains me. Reading this, getting comfortable with the uncomfortable pain of wanting love but never being able to get the love that you want... Ouch. As a dude, for me, reading this was a kick in the heart and in the nuts. Like I just got the wind knocked out of me. I wish you the best, cause I know that pain. Do yourself a favor and please don't become addicted to the pain.

  • Brenton F9 days ago

    I feel for you and at the same time I'm envious knowing that when the right person comes along all other loves will pale. Its a long game game but so worth it! Keep your chin up mate - you'll be right!

  • Kendall Defoe9 days ago

    I am reading more and more about a lack of love out there and how difficult it is to connect. You just have to keep hunting and let a surprise hit you when you least expect it. It is out there...

  • Beautiful keep trying you will always have the love you need if you love yourself just subscribed

  • AJ Birt9 days ago

    The emotion behind this is clear and relatable, especially with the shorter sentences towards the end showing a sort of panic, like you believe time is running out or you've missed the boat somehow. However, I'd like to pick up on the line 'and they consider it a red flag'. This poem beautifully portrays your fears, doubts and your story; how could anyone see it as a red flag when explained through this art? You could so easily use this poetry to communicate :)

  • This is great writing because it expresses a real problem that you are going through and one that many of us can relate to. I am 29 but had never been in a relationship as well and I pretty much had the same experience as you although I never used dating apps. Today, I'm more forward. There is this person I like and I think she likes me too so I'm going at my own pace in forging this relationship with her and for the first time, I feel seen and appreciated by someone. If you had asked me 2 years ago whether I'd ever talk to a girl I found attractive, the answer would be absolutely not. I'd ignore them, heck, I'd turn back to wherever I was coming from if I saw them at a distance coming towards me. Things are different now. I feel more comfortable with who I am so I don't get in my head as much. This has helped me a lot. A few months before I met the person I am talking about, I got rejected by a close friend that I had developed feelings for. She felt betrayed that I had feelings for her but it hurt less knowing that at least I was open about how I felt about her. Authenticity and being able to love myself the way I am has helped get me out of this. I believe that in time, you will find yourself in a similar position. You won't be forever alone if that's not what you want and if it means anything, being able to recognize this as your challenge and writing about it is a great step toward finding yourself in a great relationship. . If this was just poetry, Very well written. Keep on writing.

  • I received my first relationship at the age of 21. There is hope out there, but I believe to truly love one another mutually has a different time stamp for everyone. Keep up the good work, loved this.

  • Beautiful, with raw emotion.

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