Horror poem: endorphins!
You make me feel good
I see you and my heart lurches,
I can hardly breath!
Adrenaline!
My nerves tingle and my blood is on a race through my body:
full blood, hot blood
Dopamine!
I feel a twitch in my groin, it can’t be helped
This is just a biological response,
it’s not my choice
Our bodies are machines, made of flesh and bone
And mine is so well tuned, under control
I hear you speak and I nearly swoon
Endorphins!
My knees go weak and I tremble so hard
Your voice is a drug and I am salivating like a dog
I wish things were different but I can’t fight this feeling
Anymore
Serotonin!
A rush of happiness, ecstasy when I think of you
You ask me how I feel
I say: fuck you!
I buck against my restraints and you laugh.
God!
Your laugh!
It grates my ears and leaves raw wounds in my soul— but doesn’t it turn me on?
It does
It really does
And I hate it
I begin to cry, but then you touch my arm
Oxytocin!
A quiver runs across my skin, every hair, every muscle, is fully charged
I am electricity
Rage and pleasure and learned helplessness
And attachment
Addiction
I look at the tubes dangling from my arm, and see they are dry
The payload fully delivered
My body a machine, very finely tuned
Oiled through IVs that pump me full of moods
You open the door
You say I’m free to go
But I can’t leave!
I… love you
You make me feel good
You make me happy
I beg you to let me stay
Keep me!
This is just a biological response.
It’s not my choice
About the Creator
Sam Desir-Spinelli
I consider myself a "christian absurdist" and an anticapitalist-- also I'm part of a mixed race family.
I'll be writing: non fiction about what all that means.
I'll also be writing: fictional absurdism with a dose of horror.
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