Heart Long Distance

There are times in life where we make decisions that revisit us later. It’s like the preview to the new episode of the show you binge on Netflix- “previously: that one decision that you never thought would bite you in the booty.” You watch the show to see how the writers developed the decision into something so unfathomable that you forget all of the times that life did that same thing to you.

Follow me; you see something that you think will make you happy; you acquire it because it is genuinely something you want. The new gift is the seed of your joy. It pushes you to places you never thought you could go and opens you up to the possibilities the world has to offer. Then, one day, it stops. That beautiful pocket of sunshine turned into the gloomiest of cloudy days. It sucks the happiness out of you and envelops itself into a new friend: Burdened Distance.

You play with Distance and find that it doesn’t want you around. You think it’s your fault when in fact, Distance had this plan in mind the entire time: show you the good, then beat it out of you like the dust in a rug. You saw it coming, but you thought it was your mind playing tricks on you. Everyone told you how to avoid Distance, but Distance still crept its way into your world.

It sits and waits for you to make a move only to push you aside and act like it’s too much. “It’s me, not you” begins to consume the conversation as you inquire how long Distance is going to stay. It falls asleep in a room of your disappointment - unmoved by your emotion and passivity. It laughs at your pain and points at the security you possess.

You finally stop. You let Distance be. You start focusing on yourself, and Distance wants your time, energy, and focus again. You relish in the feelings, “finally it wants me back,” but we all know how distance works: it gets real close, then leaves quickly so you can’t get ahold.